More Crimbo Songs
by ashford2ashford
Summary: Okay! More merry christmas songs from yours truly!


1 Merry Christmas Resident Evil!  
  
2 Songs include:  
  
I Saw Alfred Humping Santa Claus - Sung by Alexia  
  
'Twas the night before Christmas - Told by Alexia  
  
Whose child is this? - Sung by Leon and Claire  
  
Rockfort Time - Sung by the CODE Veronica Cast  
  
3  
  
4  
  
5 1) I Saw Alfred humping Santa Claus  
  
Sung by Alexia Ashford  
  
I saw Alfred humping Santa Claus, in the mansion bedroom last night.  
  
He didn't see me slide, the revolving door aside,  
  
He thought that I was skinning Nosferatu's worthless hide.  
  
And I saw Alfred humping Santa Claus; he had him chained down on the bed!  
  
In the morning when he wakes,  
  
I'll show him what it takes,  
  
To stab my brother in the head!  
  
  
  
Yes, in the morning when he wakes,  
  
I'll show him what it takes,  
  
To stab my brother in the head!  
  
  
  
Yes, I saw Alfred humping Santa Claus, in his tiny bedroom last night.  
  
I didn't realise he was gay, not until today,  
  
I should have punched his fuckin' head in bloody yesterday!  
  
And I saw Alfred humping Santa Claus, in every wicked position and way!  
  
I'll grab him by the head,  
  
And punch the bastard dead,  
  
Because he's frightened Santa Claus away!  
  
  
  
6 2) 'Twas the night before Christmas  
  
Told by Alexia (also)  
  
'Twas the night before Christmas,  
  
And all through the house,  
  
Everyone was infected,  
  
Including the mouse.  
  
With my brother upstairs,  
  
Waiting for the prezzies to come,  
  
And he's waiting for Santa Claus,  
  
To hump him up the bum!  
  
When out on the courtyard,  
  
I saw that big prick.  
  
Well if wasn't the jolly bastard,  
  
Good ol' Saint Nick!  
  
As he looked down our chimney,  
  
Swearing like hell,  
  
I pushed him from behind,  
  
And watched as he fell,  
  
Right onto my brother,  
  
Who was chambering a round,  
  
Who then erupted with laugher,  
  
And chained old Santa down.  
  
Santa yelped with rage,  
  
And punched Alfred in the face,  
  
Then he quickly leapt up,  
  
Calling him a disgrace!  
  
He dashed up the chimney,  
  
And quickly took flight,  
  
Whereas Alfred, my brother,  
  
Was left unconscious all night!  
  
  
  
7 3) Whose Child it This?  
  
Sung by Leon and Claire  
  
  
  
Leon: Whose child is this we've only just saved?  
  
From a city of danger that we just braved?  
  
Does she belong to that creepy Chief?  
  
Or is she something much more then that?  
  
Claire: No, this, this, is Sherry B!  
  
She belongs to that monster William B!  
  
Now he's gone, we're left with a job,  
  
We must protect her with our lives!  
  
Leon: Why must we go through thick and thin,  
  
To fight a company we might not win?  
  
And now we got this child in our care,  
  
We're screwed and can't go anywhere!  
  
Claire: Sherry, Sherry, is a brave young girl,  
  
There's nothing she can handle so don't worry!  
  
We'll keep her here until I find Chris,  
  
And then we'll come back in a hurry!  
  
Leon: So now we'll go to Europe,  
  
And hope that she can still survive.  
  
Sherry, my girl, just stay right here,  
  
And 'till then try staying alive!  
  
Both: Chris, Chris, we're coming for you!  
  
Company and friends true and true.  
  
Umbrella's going down when we go,  
  
And Sherry.OH SHIT! WHERE'D SHE GO?  
  
(Wesker runs off with Sherry laughing whilst Leon and Claire stand their dumbfounded and ridiculed.)  
  
(If ya don't know what I'm talking about, see Wesker's report.)  
  
  
  
4) Rockfort Time  
  
Sung by the CODE: Veronica cast  
  
(Now trust me when I say that this song gets confusing as it is told in 6 different P.O.V's!  
  
Claire: A time for running,  
  
A time for leaping,  
  
A time for shooting and not for sleeping.  
  
Let's both escape from this crazy place,  
  
And that that gay Alfred left in disgrace!  
  
Steve: A time for loving,  
  
A time for flying,  
  
I tired to kiss you when you were lying,  
  
There in the plane, up flying high,  
  
Until Alfred changed our course and left us to die!  
  
All: Rockfort time,  
  
Murder and crime,  
  
Let's all escape at the same time.  
  
Try to survive, staying alive,  
  
And watch as a cue for RE 4 arrives!  
  
Alfred: A time for shooting,  
  
A time for sniping,  
  
Insanely laughing and then rioting!  
  
As much as I wish and as much as I pray,  
  
I know Alexia will come back to me one day!  
  
Alexia: A time for waking,  
  
A time for singing,  
  
I have to kill those brats; for they are winning.  
  
I'll infect Steve, just to spite Claire,  
  
And then when she saves him, he's mutate and go spare!  
  
All: Rockfort time,  
  
Murder and crime,  
  
Let's all escape at the same time.  
  
Try to survive, staying alive,  
  
And watch as a cue for RE 4 arrives!  
  
Chris: Why must I come,  
  
As Claire is leaving?  
  
Leon, your co-ordinates are really deceiving.  
  
Yet I know where she's gone, so I will not frown.  
  
I'll grab a linear launcher and knock Alexia down!  
  
Wesker: Look at me Chris,  
  
I'm, stronger then you!  
  
I'll rip your head off and there's nothing you can do!  
  
Just try to stop me and I'll throw you at the wall,  
  
And then watch in humour as you struggle to crawl!  
  
All: Rockfort time,  
  
Murder and crime,  
  
Let's all escape at the same time.  
  
Try to survive, staying alive,  
  
And watch as a cue for RE 4 arrives!  
  
(Repeat until fade!) 


End file.
